Hold My Heart

Ok, so yes, I do generally try to steer clear of downer posts... I know, no one REALLY wants to read about that, even if you are my friends and care about how I'm doing. For that, I'm very grateful. Suffice to say, this is just kind of where I am in my life right now, and today's been especially tough. No specifics needed, those who need to know already do. For the rest of you, I appreciate your good thoughts and prayers. In the meantime, here's a fan-made music video of a song that pretty well speaks to where I am these days. Lyrics (though not 100% correct) are in the vid. Enjoy, perhaps it'll speak to you as well.



And a special thanks to Jen at Cake Wrecks. I saved up reading posts from the last few weeks and well worth it. I was in need of some extra laughs today. Thanks!!

Leg Cramps in Pregnancy

It's not very often I experience something so painful it's actually worth blogging about. But if you've ever had a Charley Horse Cramp, you know exactly what I'm talking about. For those of you not fortunate enough to have already experienced the "joys" of pregnancy (no, I'm honestly not complaining, I'm just not one who has found pregnancy to be a particularly joyful experience and I'm just being authentic about that), let me tell you, they happen a LOT!

Now granted, this is also coming from a woman who has yet to actually experience the pain of labor and delivery, but up to this point, I think a Charley Horse is easily the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. Anything that wakes you up to the point that you're crying out in VERY unexpected pain, sometimes to the point of tears, pretty well takes the cake in my book. I think, before the fact, that the one thing that would make a bad leg cramp trump labor/delivery pain is that at least with delivery you KNOW it's coming. You're awake, and aware, and you can feel the pain coming on. You may not realize just how bad it's going to be, but at least it doesn't completely blindside you in your sleep.

Over the past 2 months or so, waking up with a mild cramp in my calf has become a daily commonplace. They're not so bad I can't handle it. They don't feel great, but they're not the worst thing either. I stretch my leg out, flex my foot, and it's gone. And I go back to sleep. Twice in the past 3-4 days, however, I've been rudely awakened by a cramp SO bad that I can't keep it to myself. This morning, I was nearly in tears. That makes the fourth time in my life I've experienced a leg cramp to that severity.

Ironically, leg cramps were the topic of the week for me in my Pregnancy Weekly emails (I am now 27 weeks along!) and some tips were helpful and some weren't so much. For example, they recommend sleeping on your side to prevent the cramping. Unfortunately for me, I do always sleep on my side, with a Boppy pregnancy pillow, and my knees bent. In my opinion, the bent knees only add to the risk of cramping. Also, while I already knew that a Charley Horse often comes as the result of a calcium deficiency or imbalance, I finally got confirmation that the problem could also be with potassium (time to eat more yogurt, I guess). Dehydration is also a culprit, and likely my big enemy in this situation. Staying hydrated, drinking enough fluids has always been a difficult thing for me, no matter what tips and tricks I've tried. I keep trying, and some days I'm a lot better than others.

So, to all you pregnant ladies, be warned, but also be comforted. You're not the only one, this too shall pass.... eventually. Now, I'm off to price things for a yard sale I'm already late to. Fun times! Hopefully I can use my fabulous new camera that I got for Mother's Day (!!!!!) and take some fun photos to share.

Another Cake Wrecks Post

Ok, yeah, I get it, I think I mention or blog about Cake Wrecks than anything else in here. But well, truth is, kids, I've been in a tough spot lately and believe you me, I just don't think you want to hear about my woes. And honestly, I'm not so sure how keen I am on writing about them at the moment. So instead I get my daily does of hilarity from Cake Wrecks and I realize that perhaps my life isn't so bad... or at least I get to forget about the stuff going on for a few minutes. That said, I just HAD to share with you a little of the Mother's Day homage going on down in cakeland. Enjoy.

Now, just to highlight my 2 favorite cakes on here today...


Just when you thought CCCs couldn't get any worse, they go and turn them into three piece monstrocities! What is this thing?! I think my favorite theory is "bear arms." I mean, wouldn't you totally be in the market for albino bear arms attacking a rose bush to honor your mother on this one day of the year that she gets a little credit for all her hard work and lack of sleep? Oh yes, this does it for sure.

And my favorite for the day....


Ohhhhhhh! I get it! So THIS is what Kermit and Miss Piggy's love child looks like. I always wondered. Dear God, help us all... but really, I just can't help but burst into song when I see this one. Heh!

WM Smashbox Giveaway!!!

Hey ladies! My fabulous friend Julie over at Wearing Mascara is having one heck of a giveaway (and if she knows what's good for her, she'll let me win!! Haha!!!)

As I am, she is a biiiiig fan of the makeup - hence her blog name - and in celebration of quite a few blogging milestones she is giving away some really fantastic Smashbox goodies. Check out her blog for your own chance to win!

Good luck! (But not too much because, seriously, I'd better win.)

It's Called Motherhood. Google It.

Ok, something has just finally gotten to me, and I think it's time to have a mini gripe fest about it. I don't mean this towards any person in particular, but more against a mindset that, in my opinion, is all too popular among "seasoned" parents towards first time pregnant women and moms. And by "seasoned," I generally mean those who have one, maybe 2 kids under the age of 3.

What is it about a women in her first pregnancy making a comment about how she's tired, not sleeping well, or up earlier than she'd really like to be, that makes you think you should immediately respond with sardonic laughter and an "Oh, you just wait. Once that baby comes, you'll really know what no sleep is like." Who the heck asked you?!?!?! And what gives you the right to be anything but happy for someone expecting her first child?

I realize that there are SOME unsuspecting, clueless poor saps out there who somehow have created the mindset that motherhood, especially EARLY motherhood is somehow simple and that all babies do is eat, sleep, and poop. Oh, and I guess they're supposed to eat only between the hours of 8:00am and 10:00pm so Mommy can get her beauty rest. Any takers on that theory? No???? I didn't think so.

Believe it or not, THIS IS WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR!!!!!!! I already know that I won't be getting any sleep once this little girl comes, that she's going to be needing me at her every beck and call, and that I will literally get nothing accomplished for at least the first 4 months of her life. And you know what? I'm ok with it! I actually want what comes with a newborn, and those crazy, terrifying first steps into parenthood. None of this comes as any big surprise to me.

Thing is, right now, I don't have a little baby screaming for me at 3:30 in the morning, 20 minutes after I finally got her back to sleep. I don't have the inability to shower for 5 days at a time, to never eat (the REAL reason why breastfeeding mothers can lose weight so fast, for anyone who was wondering), and to probably be disolved in tears at least half the time my child is. I'm not saying that I'm completely prepared for it psycologically and emotionally, but I do know what's coming.

I'm almost 6 months pregnant, I'm tired, I'm not sleeping well when I do sleep, I wake up at 5:30 in the morning with indigestion that lasts until I finally get to sleep at midnight. Right now, I'm working a job that has me up and out at 7:00am, driving around town all day, chasing after diabetic cats (more on that later this weekend), and IF I have any energy, doing whatever I can and need to around the house during the day before going back out for my final visits at or after 9:00pm.

I enjoy my job, but it's not easy. The schedule is rough some days and I don't always have it in me to run around with what ends up being a 14 hour day when I can't get myself to sleep for a nap during the day. If I'm tired, and want to whine just a little bit about about how I'm not happy to be up before 9:00am, I think I've earned the right. I'm pretty darn confident that any other pregnant women out there felt the exact same way their first time around.

It doesn't take much to either not say anything, or to say, "Sorry you're not sleeping well. I went through that too. I know it's rough." Is that so hard??? What is it about other moms that completely leeches them of any sense of empathy, any sense of happiness on the part of a new mom coming into this weird new world where we could use all the help and encouragement we can get? Saying crap like, "Oh, just you wait," just gets old and after a while, it just pisses us off. Do you not realize how much we're looking to you for guidance? You've walked this path before. You know what's ahead with better awareness than we do. We have a respect for you that can only pass between a first-time pregnant woman and a mother. Do us a kindness and return the favor a little. And don't be such a pain in the ass about it.

Funniest Blog I've EVER Seen!

I just could NOT pass up the opportunities to share this blog I just discovered with you fabulous people. I was cracking up laughing the whole time I was reading. My husband actually had to come upstairs to see what all the fuss was about.

That said, please enjoy Cake Wrecks to your heart's content. Cheers!

A Little Breather

After the hellish day of pain I had yesterday, I am pleased to report that I am doing MUCH better today. The cramping has been basically non-existent all day and my baby girl has been popping and kicking around all afternoon. She is going to be the cutest thing on this planet, I SWEAR!!!

We've finally settled on her first name, which we are keeping mostly a secret for the time being, but now we're tossing back and forth on her middle name. The original option is an archaic, Shakespearean name I've loved for several years, but I also thought of the idea recently to use her middle name as a way to sort of name her after my hubby's dad, who passed away 6 years ago.

For those of you with kids, how did you make the choices on how to name your children? Was it a hard choice for you, or did you and your spouse know right away? Did you end up using names you liked most of your life, or did those names go right out the window when you got pregnant and started REALLY thinking of names?