Ok, not as dramatic as the title sounds, but that's kinda how I'm feeling today. I was doing a-ok while I was in bed (till almost noon... oops!!) reading Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner. Good book, not at all what I was expecting! It's a great, easy read about 3 women struggling with new mommy-hood and a new friend who, well... isn't. To find out more, hit the local library, girls!
Up next, I'll be tackling Certain Girls and The Guy Not Taken, which I think I noticed is a collection of stories.
Ok, so while I was in la-la-land reading my book, with my kitty curled up asleep with his head resting on my growing little belly, my day was just peachy! Then I finally got up, padded my way to my computer in my overwhelmingly chaotic office.... not dealing with that today... and tried to start doing research for a presentation I'm giving this weekend that SHOULD have been done weeks ago. But I guess there's only so much I've felt capable of doing over the past 2 or 3 months, getting my handle on "this pregnancy thing," which has turned out to be a little more taxing than I think I was expecting.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to BE pregnant. To be having this baby, to be looking forward to and planning for this tiny little being that will rely on me for every last thing until my eyes are sunken in and my hair is falling out from lack of sleep and utter delerium. And that's not a complaint, dear, that's just reality. A reality I eagerly look forward to embracing, along with the insanity and mild psychosis that comes with it.
But today? Today I'm not doing so hot. I don't want to develop a training, I don't want to think about what clothes I'll need to be wearing and whether or not my pre-pregnancy clothes will fit me well enough that no one will really notice. I want to just stay in my PJs and make a pizza or some eggs and finish my book and catch up on the shows waiting for me on my DVR. I want to get caught up on the laundry so my husband and I can have something to wear, and I want to find the energy to start putting this house together so I won't be embarrassed to have people over, looking at my mail scattered all over every surface, and dishes piling up in the sink.
Maybe I'll start writing my own short story about my boring, boring life, sitting at home watching the sun go up and back down, and ending the day realizing I've accomplished absolutely nothing other than "resting," which so many insist is exactly what my baby and I need. And I'll change the names to protect the innocent, but it will be a loosely veiled picture of my own version of reality, where things are never quite what you expect them to be, and even though the reality turns out to be so much greater than the fantasy could ever be, there are some days that you'd trade it for the fantasy in a heartbeat and go get that mani-pedi you've been dying to get.
3 years ago